Big News!

I'm sorry I've been so quiet on the blog lately, but I promise its been for a very good reason! Well, several reasons. The first being that I have done absolutely nothing worthy of writing about on the blog for several weeks now. And second, that I haven't been feeling very well at all. And the reason is already known to some of you... but others may not know.

I am pregnant!

We are due on November 5th. I am 12 weeks along and am close to finishing up my first tri-mester! Like I said, I haven't been feeling well because of the pregnancy for a while and because of that have been keeping to the house and not going much anywhere besides work and church. 

Kanyon is so excited and has been so sweet to me during my bad days, of which there have been many. I have been so thankful for him, maybe more than ever, during these last few weeks since he has been doing everything he can to help me feel better and pick up the slack around the house. I know this is just a tiny glimpse of how nurturing he will be as a dad. He loves kids and probably a large part of my excitement about being pregnant is being excited to finally see him be a daddy to his own baby! I gotta stop before I make myself cry at work.

For me, I keep having to remind myself that we are not playing make-believe and that we are really having a baby! I think this first tri-mester finally ending will be good for me because I will finally start showing and (hopefully) start feeling better and it will become more real to me! Its not that I'm not excited, I am, I think I am just showing it in a more private and personal way that I realized I would. I have dreams occasionally of the baby and I always love having them. I love talking about the future with my parents, who will be first time grandparents, and my parents-in-law, who will be eleventh time grandparents but are just as excited as if it was their first. People keep asking me if we have thought of names or picked out colors or even announced it on Facebook but we haven't yet. Something I've learned about myself is if I am looking forward to something that requires a process like this, I don't like to rush and get everything done in excitement. I like to spread out the fun and not rush. I hate when I spoil a Christmas present because I love Christmas. I don't even like opening gifts on Christmas Eve because I would rather save it! I think thats why I'm so hesitant to talk about names yet. Of course, I don't mind when people ask me about it and I will bring it up still but it being so early and me not showing yet, its almost like this fun private experience between me and Kanyon still and we are enjoying getting to tell people slowly.

(Of course, now that I'm writing this on the blog, its not so slow anymore! But this still feels more private than Facebook and I kinda needed to think out loud. And if you're wondering if you its okay for you to tell people, it is!)

To be honest, I may think I've got my emotions figured out but I don't think I do. This is all so new to me! I don't recognize my body at all. There are way more symptoms than I even knew about. I had heartburn for the first time last weekend and didn't know that was what it was all day because I had never had it. I just don't know what to expect these days as far as how I will respond to that food or if I will feel good enough to do that thing on whatever day. I had to throw away a pair of shoes last week because I got sick will driving all over them. (I'm sorry to the men who work at the garage that I pulled over in.) Its just so weird to not recognize your own body. And I don't think I would have understand what that meant before I was pregnant. Anyone else understand that??

Well, lets get to a more exciting part - like an ultrasound picture!

This was the baby at nine weeks, which was three weeks ago. Just a little peanut. The best part (besides confirming we were pregnant!) was hearing the heartbeat. It was very loud and strong and the doctor assured us that having that strong of a heartbeat at nine weeks was a very good sign, taking the chances of miscarriage down to 1%. I think hearing that allowed us to breathe easier and almost gave us permission to celebrate. We were trying to guard our hearts before we found out everything was okay.

We have our second ultrasound the second week of May, when I will be 14 weeks. I'm very anxious to see how much the baby has grown! 

Well, I think I'll stop here and breathe a sigh of relief that this is finally up on the blog. I've been feeling bad about not updating very much recently but the only thing I wanted to talk about was the pregnancy!

Oh, except for this one thing! Kanyon and I have a new nephew and he is so beautiful. Upon seeing this picture, I thought "I want a boy!", though we really don't have a preference!

This is Krae Nicholas Shock, born last week. This picture drives me crazy because I want to hold him so bad when I see it.

I hope you have a great Wednesday!