November 12, 2013


Even though my mom assures me that Brindle is not a "sickly" baby, I feel like we have have dealt with some ailment every month. And reading through her baby book confirms it.

She deals with allergies at all times and is on Zyrtec every night but we've also had reflux, thrush, RSV, double ear infection, sinus infection, and last week, we had croup. Through all of them, she recovered quickly (RSV being the exception by a little) and still had a smile on her face all the time. So I am, by no means, complaining because they are all normal and I am SO THANKFUL that those are all we've had to deal with.

She came down with croup the weekend before her first birthday - also opening weekend of deer hunting season, so needless to say, Kanyon was at the deer lease. I told Kanyon I could tell something didn't feel good but I couldn't put my finger on it. That mommy intuition is good stuff. Within a few hours, her voice got steadily weaker.

At the height of it in the middle of the night, when she could hardly breathe and wouldn't be anywhere except on my chest, and I bundled her up in fifty blankets and walked up and down our driveway so that the cool night air would help relieve her swollen airway, I thought to myself "this is what motherhood is." 

One of my strongest memories of childhood is my dad walking down our street, my head on his shoulder, in the humid Houston air in the middle of the night to help me breathe during one of my many bouts with croup. I remember not thinking the words exactly but feeling grateful for him taking care of me, even though I was very young.

As I held Brindle at 3:00 am on our driveway (which is a LOT darker without the City of Houston street lights), I remember being so grateful. Grateful that I was getting to show my baby girl the same love and provide the same comfort to her that my parents did for me. She had her eyes closed most of the time but occasionally, she would open them as she laid her head on my chest tilted up to my face and smile behind her paci. I thought my heart would burst every time she did. I knew that she knew what I was doing for her. It may be one of the sweetest, best moments as a mom that I have experienced so far.

1 comment:

  1. This is a beautiful piece of writing. You should be proud. Made me cry xxx