December 16, 2012

Brindle's First Week

Every time I sit down to write a post, I don't know where to start! Brindle is 6 weeks old today which means its been a little over 3 weeks since I've posted. Sorry about that! I could say I haven't had time but really I just haven't made time, to be honest! I'd much rather hold and talk to Brindle ;) But I guess its time for me to share her!

Motherhood is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I love it! My whole pregnancy, I would try to imagine what it would be like to have a daughter but never got far. The best I could imagine is how I feel about some kids in my life that I'm close to. Wow, it is completely different than that. I'm completely amazed by her every move, every sound, every funny face she makes. Its not just that I love her, I adore her! 

The first two weeks, my mom was here and Kanyon was in the middle of harvest. Those couple of weeks with my mom and Brindle and Kanyon will always be one of my favorite memories as we met and learned our daughter. Mom says she was taking care of me while I took care of Brindle, though she did a lot of taking care of Brindle, too :) She cooked and cleaned and helped me learn how to take care of Brindle. It was the first time we had gotten to spend that much time together probably since I graduated high school and I was so sad when she had to go home. 

Our girl was so little (6 lb, 3 oz) that we had to dress her in premie clothes the first few days we were home. But she is also a great eater... so that only lasted a few days!

She also smiled from the second day in the hospital!

Our second day home, Thursday, we had to go back to Lubbock to go to the doctor's office. She really didn't mind it at all but of course by the time I got my camera out, she started to not like it. But right after she recorded her height, I wrapped her back up and she was fine.

We were happy to find out that she had gotten back up to her birth weight, 6 lb 10 oz. And everything else looked great! The doctor did recommend we let her sit in the sunlight a little bit just to get a tiny bit of jaundice that he saw out. So we did just that when we got home...

And she loved it! She laid there and kicked and kicked! Zeb came and watched her for a little while. I wonder what he thought of her?

Other than that, we spent lots of time talking and holding her! She is a very happy girl, easily content and loves to be talked to.

She gets lot of time talking to Nana and Papa and FaceTiming with Grandma and Papa (my dad's name still TBD...)

I look pretty tired there :) All these pictures are from her first week. I will try and be much better at posting now on! (No promises...)

November 21, 2012

Brindle's Birth Day

It's taken me a while to sit down and write about this day. Brindle is now 17 days old and I can't believe how fast the days have flown by already! The day of her birth was an extremely emotional day for me and Kanyon - very high and very low. Probably even more for Kanyon since he was more aware of everything.

I'll start with the day before because it explains a little about the situation. I'm going to get pretty detailed about this story, probably more for myself than anyone because I don't want to forget all the details.

I wrote my family friend (she's more like a sister) Alison an e-mail explaining all of what led up to my doctor scheduling me to check into the hospital on the night of November 3rd. So in the interest of simplicity, I am going to just copy and paste that e-mail:

(Warning: I say the word "vaginal" in this e-mail ;)

"Throughout my pregnancy, my doctor has been preparing me that my pelvis is very narrow so there is a possibility of a C-section if Brindle ended up being average to large size. Thankfully, she is small! He is estimating her being 6 and a half to low 7 lbs.

So as of Thursday at my doctor's appointment, my cervix was still very hard and not dilated. He's been having a very hard time even getting to my cervix to check for dilation. Its very painful for me. I'd been having contractions 7 minutes apart the 48 hours before but nothing very intense. She is also facing my front instead of my back. My theory is that because she is facing the wrong way, she has not dropped adequately enough to be pushing on my cervix to soften it and allow me to progress further. But I just know my body has been trying to go into labor. Also, at my appointment, my blood pressure was a little bit high again (but nothing major), my placenta had started calcifying (getting old), and my amniotic fluid had reduced. Because of these factors and my recent history of high blood pressure, my doctor wants me to have delivered her no later than Sunday night.

I think if I left the decision completely up to him, he would have scheduled me for a C-section that afternoon. But he knows my desire to at least try for a vaginal delivery, if anything just for the experience. When it comes down to it, I want whatever is safest for her and I. I'll have no qualms about having a C-section, I just want to give myself a chance to experience labor and delivery.

So this is my doctor and I's plan ---

He said he would give me a couple more days to go into labor on my own. Since my appointment, I've been doing some exercises that I've been told can help turn the baby. Not sure if they worked, but thought I might as well. Since he checked me for dilation on Thursday, I've had some stronger contractions but now they're not as regular.

We check in tonight at 6:00 pm and they will give me Cervadil to try and soften my cervix overnight. Tomorrow morning, my doctor will come and check to see if it worked. If it did, he will break my water and start a pitocin drip. If she is still facing the wrong way, the softening of my cervix will also allow him to hopefully reach in there and try and turn her with his hand. He will allow me to labor for ten hours at the most before he does a C-section. If it didn't work, he will suggest a C-section then. It will be my decision if I want to go ahead with it or I want to go ahead and try the induction even though he doesn't think it will work and will just create a harder recovery if I labor for hours and then do a C-section.

So there are lots of possibilities. We will see! I am just excited and ready to get the ball rolling."
On Saturday night, we loaded up the car and headed to Lubbock for a quick date before the big day and then to the hospital.

I look at that picture now and think about how much different my life would be in just 24 hours!

During dinner, I started having more intense contractions so we decided to head to the hospital a little early. We were the only patients in Labor and Delivery that night. After taking about an hour and a half to get me all checked in and IV'd and everything, they stuck the Cervadil in. That was very painful!

That night might have been the longest of my life. Later, when I was in full labor before getting the epidural, I remember thinking that the night before had felt like one long contraction and I preferred labor because at least I got breaks between the contractions! I cramped from my knees to my abdomen around to my lower back the whole night. That night was the night to "fall back" for Daylight Savings and I remember having a crushing realization that I had forgotten that the clock was an hour early and I still had another hour before they came to take the Cervadil out! 

Finally, the time came for them to come take it out. It was way more painful than them putting it in because I was so tender from the night of cramping. It was definitely not one of my best moments. I'm pretty sure I squeezed Kanyon's hand harder than I ever thought I could.

I don't write about all the pain because I want to get sympathy, by the way, I just want to remember every bit of this day.

After they took it out, I had some relief and they let me take a shower. Kanyon helped me get in there and just stand there for a long time before I had to get back on the monitors. I remember just crying in the shower. I wasn't crying because I felt sorry for myself or didn't want to be going through this, though. I think I just needed to get some emotion out! I was still really glad to be there and still excited for the next step!

By the time I got hooked back up to the monitors, my contractions were coming every 3 to 4 minutes and were much stronger than I had experienced up to that point. But like I said, they were not as bad as the night before because I got breaks between them! The nurse told me that the Cervadil had not softened my cervix as much as she'd like and asked me if I'd like to get my epidural yet since my doctor had recommended one to help relax my body and possibly help progress my labor. I discussed it with Kanyon and decided to wait a little longer. I really had the desire to experience labor as much as I could before numbing myself. But soon after deciding that, the nurse let me know that the anesthesiologist on call would be leaving soon and there wouldn't be another one coming in for a couple hours after he left - right when my doctor came to check me for dilation. I couldn't bear the thought of being checked again without the epidural (it would feel just like when they came to take out the Cervadil) so I went ahead and asked for it.

The anesthesiologist was so nice. Actually, my experience with all of the staff at Covenant was great. I was really surprised to find that I didn't mind receiving the epidural at all. The IV the night before was worse! Or maybe I was just a tougher person after the night before. (That's what I'd like to think ;)

By the time my epidural was in, my contractions were 1 to 2 minutes apart and I was starting to be thankful I had decided to go ahead and order it. As the numbness spread to my legs, though, I remember really not liking the sensation. By the time it had spread to my abdomen, I started to really not like how it felt and began to be sick. I threw up a couple times in the next hour.

The third time I felt more nausea coming on, I also starting to feel alarmed. My body started trying to pass out and I called Kanyon. I told him something wasn't right and to do something. He didn't know what to do, obviously. At that moment, 3 or 4 nurses ran into my room and flipped me on my side. I don't recall the monitors going off, but apparently they did at their station. They were talking to each other in alarmed voices and not making much sense to me and flipped me again. I asked them what was wrong and they said the baby must have not liked the position I was in and her heart rate was dropping. They jammed an oxygen mask on me and I looked for Kanyon, who was standing in the corner and just mouthing "it's okay" to me over and over. They flipped me a couple more times, argued over whether or not to give me some shot and at that moment, my doctor walked in. He looked at the monitor and said relatively calmly "What are y'all doing? Let's get her out!"

They threw a pair of scrubs to Kanyon and started racing me down the hall to the operating room, told me I would be falling asleep (although I'm sure my body would have gladly done it without anesthesia if I had let it) and I woke up an hour and a half later in recovery.

My doctor believes that Brindle's placenta had started to detach at the moment my body was telling me something was wrong. The best part of this story? My doctor and the anesthesiologist were not scheduled to come in for another hour. Dr. Killeen had not been able to sleep and just decided to come an hour early to work and the anesthesiologist had forgotten to change his clock for Daylight Savings so he "accidentally" showed up an hour early. They both walked in at the exact moment that Brindle went into distress. I don't really allow myself to think about what would have happened if they hadn't been there for another 15 or 20 minutes because they were still at home.

All I know is that God clearly orchestrated that turn of events to work exactly as He wanted it. I will always be thanking Him for that for the rest of my life.

Kanyon didn't even get to see my emergency C-section because they didn't have time to come get him from the hallway. They came and got him a few minutes after they wheeled me in and told him "there's your wife and there's your baby!" I was still open on the table and Brindle was completely blue from the distress she had been in. My heart hurts when I think about what Kanyon went through in the hallway and standing there looking between the two of us, not knowing who to go to first. He still didn't know what had been wrong and whether or not it was me or Brindle or both of us that was in distress. He says he will always be grateful to my doctor because he looked at Kanyon at the moment and said "Your wife is fine, go to your baby."

He said within seconds, Brindle's color became normal and she was crying like she should be, hallelujah! He said the nurses all took turns giving her a little spank for scaring them like that.

As he left the operating room and started walking Brindle down to the nursery with the nurse, our moms both were running down the hall trying to find us. Kanyon had told them all he knew and obviously they were freaked out. I'm told Kanyon started crying as soon as he saw them and told them we were both okay.

An hour and a half later, as I woke up in recovery, I asked Kanyon first thing if she was okay. And he said she was! I was still so out of it. But then it was my turn to meet my daughter!

I remember crying from relief that everything was okay. After that, I don't really remember much. I breastfed her for the first time (thankfully I have pictures!) and apparently my dad helped me brush my hair and put on some makeup!

We're so thankful for Dr. Killeen and his quick reaction. 

The next couple days were so tiring but so wonderful as we got to know Brindle. We immediately decided she was super gorgeous :) She breastfed great from the very get-go, which was a huge blessing. We also learned that she is very laid-back. She didn't cry much in the hospital and continued to be that way after we got home.

Kanyon and I are loving being her parents. We are so fascinated by her. I have been so happy to learn that being a mom is a lot more natural instincts than I thought. And its easy when you can't get enough of that little baby!

November 12, 2012

Maternity Pictures

Its been a while since I've posted, I know, but I have a great reason that I'm sure all who read my blog already know about :) Brindle is one week old as of yesterday and doing great! I will be posting about her birth next.

I'm finally getting around to posting some pictures from our maternity session! We hired a great photographer named Ashley Kerby who did these and will be doing Brindle's newborn pictures this week.

We met her out at Cagle's Steaks where they have plenty of scenery and props for great pictures.

We really love how they turned out! If you need a photographer, I highly recommend Ashley. She also did my friend Kaitlin's wedding and those turned out beautiful. 

Next, I will be posting pictures of Brindle! Just gotta pare down the hundreds of pictures I have!

October 24, 2012

Lamesa and Welch Baby Showers

This month, our local friends threw us two showers! The generosity and excitement for Brindle has completely overwhelmed me and I am so grateful.

On October 6th, the church I work at threw a beautiful shower in the parlor.

Hostesses were (Left to Right): Andi Evans, Fallon Garcia, Victoria Ramirez, Joanne Longo, Nancy Patterson, Pam Kearney, Krista Powell, Joyce Pearson, and Connie Smith. Nelda Jones and Traci Cox were also hostesses but weren't able to be at the shower.

 Isn't that cake gorgeous?? It perfectly matched my nursery's color scheme.

 This is Brindle's cradle! A friend of Kanyon and I's made it from scratch for us. It made me want to cry when I saw it for the first time. Well, still does.

Almost 36 weeks at this point. Definitely have started looking it!

The next weekend, our friends in Welch threw us a baby shower there. It was also amazing and beautiful!!

 Ainsley came to see what all Brindle got!

 The decorations were absolutely gorgeous!

All lacey and vintage!

 Me with the grandmas!

 Me with just a few of the hostesses!
Julie Gray, Becca Brooks, Shelly Moore, Marla Goode, Vicki Gary, Kasha Crisp, Pam Maxwell, and Joan Moore.

 Me and Grandma!

Heather, Kaelyn, and Lauren all came in town for the shower! It was so great to see them.

Ainsley trying out the pillow that Heather got Brindle :) 

Brindle with her cousin! They will only be a couple months apart!

After my Welch shower, Mom and Vaughn helped me organize and wash a few things for Brindle's room and we made a ton of progress! Not a whole lot has been made decoration-wise which is why I still haven't posted many pictures. I'm not worrying about getting all of that done before she gets here. Just trying to get the essentials done and rest up right now. Besides, most everything that is left are things that other people are doing for me! Which is a huge blessing.

October 19, 2012

Maternity Leave

Well, after having high blood pressure this week, my doctor has told me that if I want to keep her in there a little longer, I need to quit working. So I am officially on maternity leave.

All of her non-stress tests results have been great and her activity and sonograms have shown that she is doing great! After thinking about it all afternoon and night and talking it over with Kanyon, we have decided that I need to stay home like my doctor advised. I used to want her to come a little early but now that its getting closer, I want her to stay in there for as long as she needs and not have to come early because I can't sit still and keep my blood pressure down.

I had mixed emotions about it all until I talked to my boss about it and he agreed that he wanted me to do what the doctor says. I felt like maybe I could still work and have my co-workers run my errands for me but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it won't happen. Not because they wouldn't be willing to, but because I know how I am and will want to do things myself. Besides, all my high BP readings have been after I was sitting for 30 minutes or more so I know its going to take me actually resting more to get it down.

I also keep starting to make a to-do list of the things I still need to get done and am forcing myself to stay away from the notepad! This is going to be a new experience for me. But it will be worth it to keep her safe.

So since I will be home now, I'll finally be getting to post pictures of my baby showers and updates on the nursery! Those will be up soon!

October 10, 2012

Getting closer...

So sorry about the lack of posts the last two weeks. I've kind of been running at a sprint, which is ironic since I finally went part time at work so that I could "rest".

I've been trying to get things wrapped up at work making notes about how to do my job when I'm away for maternity leave (I'm at 9 pages...) all the while going through a couple of big transitions. Perfect timing. But maybe all the kinks will be worked out with both of them by the time I get back... there's wishful thinking. I'm having a hard time being okay with letting other people take over my tasks. Not because I want to keep doing them, I'm just afraid something will go wrong while I'm gone and they won't know what to do! Just gotta be okay with it. I'm sure I'll feel much differently after a couple of weeks without having to think about work.

Outside of work, I've been making tons of trips to Lubbock for doctor's visits, doing more Mary Kay stuff, trying to keep our house clean (emphasis on trying), writing thank you notes, working on the nursery... This week, I have several tasks I'd like to get done. They are all quick things, I just need to do them.

The first of the two tasks I have in mind is making a measuring wall ruler to record Brindle's (and future kid's) heights.

I like the simplicity of this one. I have the wood already, but I plan on painting mine cream and then adding the numbers like this. I also have a couple of turquoise metal flowers to attach to add some girly-ness. I don't think it will take long, just gotta do it!

The second is to tea-stain the white lace canopy I bought to go over Brindle's crib. Its beautiful, just too white.

Mom and Dad are coming to stay with us Friday and I am so excited!! So I am going to get some cleaning done in preparation for them and hopefully get some more thank you notes done before my next baby shower in Welch this Saturday!

The days are starting to fly by!

September 26, 2012

6 weeks.

I am 6 weeks away from my due date and not close to finishing the nursery at all. But I will show you some progress pics! Actually these are more like teaser pics because they are close up. 

This is currently the only wall decor that I have up since the rest either is not going on the wall or hasn't been made yet. But I'm loving this so far! Makes me feel a little accomplished.

My dad got me that sign. He sang that to me all the time as a little girl and plans on singing it to Brindle! :)

I'm really pumped about this. It is the bedding that went on the twin bed. I'll show you a less zoomed in shot when the bed skirt and the other throw pillows are made and put on there.

The crib bedding... still need a crib mattress and her blanket and then finish accessorizing the canopy.

We are coming to the end of this pregnancy and I couldn't be more excited to meet her and not be pregnant anymore! We went to our third childbirth class last night out of six and I'm so glad we signed up for them. We've learned so much.

I officially go part time at work starting Monday. I'm really relieved to finally have some extra time to finish the nursery, rest, and hopefully get some exercise in. I am so out of shape and need to work up some muscle again in preparation for labor. I'm a little worried about how hard it would be to go through at my current state of weakness ;) I also am on "maternity leave" from teaching my dance class starting next week. I will be sad to not see my little girls every week anymore!

Here is a current shot of what my baby bump looks like (sorry that its in the bathroom at work):

I'm feeling a little more uncomfortable every day with her getting bigger. I feel her in my rib cage a lot more recently and my heartburn has gotten worse. But I am still in high spirits all the time! I wonder if pregnancy gives you endorphins? Just so thankful to have a healthy baby and pregnancy. And Kanyon is so great taking care of me.

I hope you have a great Wednesday! Almost Friday! ;)